Chaos, Crazies, and Charasmania.."Part 3"

1948 Mercury Truck

Moving from "Conservativille" to "Charamatropolis" was easy ... all you need for a smooth move is a nice truck. Though totally unrelated to my post I thought I should work in a picture of the truck I am building for my wife... "The Queen of Hearts"... so moving and truck worked well for me ... and you get to see that I am not just a jaded, hurt loser ... oh no! I am a jaded, hurt, loser with some serious skills.

The first time I can remember meeting "Crazy Wolf" was after a concert in the city. I was still living in "Conservativille" and had gone on one of my trips to the city to get a little refueling and to get a break from "Chaos" (the first wolf in our story). Now, don't forget, "Chaos" was still chewing me to bits ... there was not a day, or night, when he did not come sniffing around looking for some small morsel or bone to gnaw away on. When I met "Crazy Wolf" it was a very entertaining relief from the serious amount of concentration it required to deal with "Chaos". We laughed and talked about the concert, talked about how wonderful it was to experience a whole new kind of relationship with God and could not wait to see what would happen next. At the next event "Crazy Wolf" saw me from across the room and ran over to make sure I met the entire "Crazy Wolf Crew". You see, I learned that this type of wolf runs in loosely undefined packs which allow them to remain committed to their crazy ways and antics feel secure and safe ... while remaining UN-committed to anything that makes them feel like they are losing their freedom. Yet, they are a very fun group of people to go to a concert with... they are so much fun ... they laugh alot, and really loud, they sing and dance and enjoy every part of the concert to the fullest. These "Crazies" as I call them also seem to be able to attend every concert the city has to offer... they are always there, and always happy to be there ... I loved hanging out with the "Crazies" ... they made me laugh ... made me feel less crazy ... made my chaos seem unimportant ... and made every part of life, other than the times spent at concerts, seem less serious ... less stressful ...


Over time I began to notice something about the "Crazy Wolf Crew" ... they were CRAZY!!! They never stopped being crazy ... and because they were crazy all the time ... people, at the concerts, in "Conservativille", in "Charasmatropolis", in the mall, at the coffee shop, ... everybody ... thought they were crazy ... Because they are crazy! These "Crazy Wolves" care only about one thing ... the way they feel ... their feelings run the show ... not just a little bit ... their feelings Completely run their entire life ... If you hurt their feelings in anyway shape or form they will turn on you and make others believe you have become the most unsafe, dangerous person on the planet. These "Crazy Wolves" have worked on the sense of "feeling" so much they can actually feel things that are not real, not there, that do not even exist ... and, they can emote with such pain ans sincerity that they cause others to borrow their offense and feel hurt on thier behalf. These "Crazy Wolves" are committed to only one thing ... Their own freedom ... complete, un-contested, un-realistic, and un-defined freedom... They actually think that no one has the right to impose any requests or parameters on their behavior at all ... and, the second you do, is when the "Wolf" in the "Crazy Wolf" shows up. When "The Crazy Wolf Crew" feel trapped or un-free they will attack ... and will do so with cunning and precision that you would not expect from such a loosely defined and fun loving group ... but, make no mistake about it, they are more dangerous than "Chaos" ... their goal is to end your life not just annoy it.

"Crazy Wolf"

"A picture is worth a thousand words" ... as seen above, "Crazy Wolves" look like fun and seem harmless ... but, note the large teeth, eyes, and ears. These fun loving, thrill seeking mammals have been trained by the cities finest.

Their "big ears" have heard more sermons, inspirational talks, motivational moments and broad observations than any other animal of their kind ... they have lots of information at their disposal ... they invest in tapes, c.d.'s, d.v.d's, books, work books etc. They use this information to protect themselves when they feel attacked ... They have not experienced any of the information they have consumed therefore they are not wise ... just informed ... informed not transformed ... they live to be free and to feel.

Their "big eyes" have seen so many things in the city and they speak with such apparent understanding and experience yet their self proclaimed experience and understanding only serves their own desires to feel and be free ... what they see does not change them or transform them it only encourages them to see more ... they can't even see how their actions effect others.

Their "big teeth" just help them chew you up ... It's their "Big Tongue" that does the most damage. "Crazy Wolves" know how to say things that make others feel like they need to be protected. "Crazy Wolves" use their tongues to cause people to feel as though they are being attacked and endangered ... they sulk, and pout, and become quiet ... when others ask what is wrong they use the cunning tongue to encourage others to speak out on their behalf ... to protect them... to speak out on behalf of the poor, neglected, hurt, ... angry, hungry, selfish "Crazy Wolf" ... and then after causing as much damage and harm as possible ...

They Leave.

Remember, the "Crazy Wolf" is only committed to feelings and freedom and nothing else ... They will never stay in one place, never put down roots and never build for the long haul. Their very nature demands that they keep moving ... they must continue to experience new and higher heights of feelings ... they must find more and free-er freedom. The "Crazy Wolves" never stop ... they will continue to flow through your city concerts and events ... howling at the moon. "Crazy Wolves" scare people, confuse people, and cause non-crazies to experience stress and discomfort to the point that they can only hear the howling wolves and nothing else ... As "Chaos" wears you down and makes your weak ... the "Crazy Wolf" circles, looking like they need a home but, what they really want,

... is a meal ...

Chaos, Crazies and Charamania ... "Part 2"

"Conservativille"

In my last blog I gave a little peek into my journey and adventure from my home town "conservativille" to the big wild city of "Charasmatropolis". The move for me was very fast and at first felt like a perfect fit, but, over time, began to make me feel more like I had "lost" my way than "found" my way... and, like I said at the end of the last blog, I think I know why.





The first thing that happened when I experienced the real, true, and exciting encounter with God was "Chaos". By chaos I mean the feeling of having all of your life poured into one of those dime store christmas snow domes and having some gorilla shake the s--t out of it. I suddenly had a gift, that a couple days ago I did not believe in, I suddenly realized I did not know as much as I thought I did, I suddenly realized I had only lived or known one dimension of this "Christian" life I truely thought I was fully living ... this chaos seemed to leak into every part of my life. Now remember I was still living in "Conservativille" and even though I looked for help, I could not find anyone in my town who could help me understand what had happened. So, I began to look for help outside of our town, I began to read books that our little towns library did not stock, I began to venture outside of the city limits to see what the big city had to offer, I even went to concerts, and events held in the big city... I know, dangerous, but sooo much fun... I felt so at home ... my chaos felt at peace in the chaos of the big city.





On my trips to the city I met new people and made new friends... thier story was alot like mine. They had the same interests and abilities that I did and they seemed to know how to use them. They were not afraid to talk about them, laugh at them, or even play with them to see what could happen. I met people who had alot of experience in the big city and offered to show me around... these people told me things about myself that only I knew... my deep heart desires. I found myself wanting to spend more and more time in the city... I felt so out of place in little Conservativille... I felt like my friends there did not understand me ... I felt like there was no one there who could help me... when I was in Conservativille my chaos would increase until I could hardly breath. When I was in the big city I felt peaceful, understood, encouraged and my chaos seemed to disappear... So, I moved to the Big City... I packed up my life and moved to Charasmatropolis. I thought the chaos would go away...but, it did not. It seemed the move only increased the problem ... I lost all of my friends in Conservativille, I did'nt get invited to any parties, concerts or events ... some people, not everyone, in Conservativille (those who feared the big city Charasmatropolis) did all they could to make sure I knew I was not welcome in Conservativille anymore. This only caused my chaos to increase and in order to live in the big city I moved my heart from Conservativille as well... something I never wanted to do.

"Charasmatropolis"

You see, I love Conservativille. It is where I grew up ... where all my childhood friends are ... all the people I admired as a child and wanted to be like when I was grown... The people who taught me things I could never learn in the big city, you know, that home town wisdom and understanding that comes from being in the same place for a long time and having deep roots... deep roots. Conservativille taught me that there are things in life that are constant and unmovable... that grey is not a good color to paint everything with ... My life was strong and secure and solid and sure and successful... No wonder they thought I had lost my mind when I entered into such massive chaos... No wonder they thought I was making a big mistake when I moved to Charasmatropolis. You see, I would have never left Conservativille if someone there would have helped me learned how to embrace what I was going through without denying the positive effects it was having on my life... but, no one would or could ... If someone would have been curious and walked with me in the chaos I would have built a home in Conservativille.





Chaos is healthy and is necessary when you need and desire transformation. After chaos has its season, structure begins to emerge and take shape to enable the new life to find strength, or something to lean on, until the new life can stand on its own ... Chaos must come to an end, structure must follow or chaos will continue to create more chaos. Things like structure and wisdom and curiousity both strenghten and protect ... they bring chaos to an end and cause a strong and sustainable life.





My move to Charasmatropolis seemed to build a greenhouse for chaos to flourish while at the same time making it nearly impossible for a person to find things like structure and wisdom. When I realized that the chaos in Charasmatropolis may never stop I knew I would not be able to live like this forever ... I had no idea what would happen but I knew it would get me... like a hungry old bear or like a crafty old wolf ... yes three old hungry wolves... The first one attacks and his name is chaos ... while you are still spinning from chaos ... the second wolf named crazies begins to circle ... we will talk about this crazy wolf in part three.

Chaos, Crazies and Charasmania `part one``

My name is ``Jesse Padgett`` a 46 year old kustom car builder, a professional entertainer and the number one ``Jesse Padgett`` on the internet according to goggle search engines ... (which is very cool) ... But, let's just be honest... I am a Believer ... and even worse a Charasmatic Believer ... a Baptized by fire, blood washed, tounge speaking, annointed ... etc. etc. blah, blah, blah, Charasmatic ...... But, not by choice ... not by training or education ... and not by tradition ... (I`m thinking it is just random selection or maybe God`s twisted sense of humor and desire for good video)

I was born and raised in a little town in Missouri called Marblehill. My Mom and Dad became believers when I was very young and I began to believe when I was 5 or 6... my brother Jack told me a very compelling story about hell and my fingers burning off at bedtime and I decided to get things right with God... (well, I was 5, and had lived a very sinful life ever since I entered Kindergarden ... yes, my teacher was a hot blonde with big boob's and a beefont hair-do... I totally lusted after her) ... and my journey as a believer began.

We, as a family, went to a very conservative, evangelical, Plymouth Brethren Church that inspired me to become an evangelist and eventually enter into ``Full Time`` ministry... Which I have faithfully and happily done for most of my adult life.

I entered Bible college in 1983 and was ordained, or commended (for the first time...) in 1987... and in 1994 I had my first of many powerful and transforming encounters with God... (Penticostals would call this being filled or baptised in the Spirit, a revival, an awakening or a renewal)... but, it just freaked me out... I was neither trained nor prepared for this type of tranformation and was definately not desiring it... all I really know is that something happened, it was awesome, and it transformed my life.

Through many strange, super-natural and unexplainable events I ended up being the Sr. Pastor of a very influential Vineyard church in Langley B.C. I remember saying to a friend as a youth pastor in Montreal that if I could go to any church in the world it would be `The Langley Vineyard``... two years later I was living in B.C. and leading ``The Langley Vineyard``... see what I mean.

Now, not to brag, ... but, to BRAG! ... I am really good at what I do ... I am an incredible preacher/motivational speaker, ... Incredible ... I have preached to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world with great success ... I have a very powerful gift ... a gift that inspires people to believe what they do not believe ... Powerful ... I have seen things that you would not believe unless you saw them yourself and even I sometimes doubt even though I did see them ... and when it comes to doing what I believe... I do, and am what I believe ... to a fault ... and at the risk of ending my career ... I am authentic, honest and truthful ... I am, and have always been influencial, an early adaptor, a change agent and a trend setter in the business of church... but, this new thing I started leading in 1998 was a wild and unpredictable beast that was out to kill me from the very start ... and it did ... and I think I know why.

The "Greatest Mom" I ever had.

On March the 11th 1934 one of the greatest people I have ever met was born... My Mom.  She was a gift from God to Barney and Mattie May Welker.  Mattie May, or Grandma Welker, was a tiny woman with a giant spirit married to a very big man who loved to play the banjo and the fiddle and loved Redman chewing tobacco.  They were sharecroppers and loggers and horse trainners, horse traders and hard working, strong people who knew what they believed and believed it with all their heart.  My Grandma and Grandpa had 11 kids 5 died but, Von, Virgil, Leroy, Adelle, May-Dean, and My Mom lived to tell the stories.  They may have been very poor but, they were rich in spirit and the most colorful characters I have ever known. 

Mom's first chore was to count the chickens in the morning through the slats in the floor of her bedroom and she has never stopped working.  She worked at the Marblehill Hat Factory for most of the years she was raising "us kids" and in her spare time helped those less fortunate than herself... even at a youthful 75, she still cares for the "little old people" of Bollinger County.  My Mom is very compassionate, she see's people... she feel's their need... and she takes action to meet those needs.  My Mom is very, very strong... she is so strong you sometimes forget she has needs of her own. My Mom is very encouraging... to this day and for the rest of my life I have this little voice in my head... this little video tape that plays over and over... My Mom would look me in the eyes and would say "Jesse, you can do anything you set your mind to"... and you know what... I can!  I can, because My Mom says I can.  My Mom can fix anything... she can make wonderful meals from nothing... she can make your toothache go away with a little whiskey on a cotton ball... She can get you back on track with just a look...  She thinks she was so mean when she punished us but all I can remember was trying not to giggle... My Mom loves Jesus or "The Lord Jesus" as she would say, with all her heart... she seriously wants to please Him by the way she lives her life... she is a sinner and reminds herself of this everyday to keep herself from judging, or being a hypocrite.  My Mom is honest and authentic... what you see is what you get.  My Mom is very lovable.

So, Happy Birthday Mom!!!  I am very proud of you and of your life... I am proud that you: Iva Dean "Lanora" Welker are My Mom...

Your Son,...

ie/aka Snotnosed Jones, Knothead, Mr Banjo, or (your "baby" boy),

and proud of it...

Jesse

PS... this is not a picture of My Mom... My Mom is much prettier.

Beer Suit

I was thinking today about the old saying "Beer Goggles"... and the implications there of.  "Beer Goggles" for those of you who do not know, is the effect that beer has on your eyes.  Apparently, when you drink beer it has an effect on your eyes causing you and all other people around you to become better looking.  To the point that you end up with someone you would never normally be attracted to in any way shape or form... (Thus leading us to another topic of the three phases of ugly... but, that is another topic)  Therefore, you see someone at 7:00 pm that you are not attracted to, drink beer... which automatically puts on your beer goggles,... and by ten o'clock the unattractive person from 7:00 has become the most attractive and desired person on earth... This is the "Beer Goggle Effect".

I believe however that beer when consumed actually creates an alter ego that overtakes our entire body until the effects of the beer wears off.  Thus I introduce the concept of the Beer Suit... complete with Goggles.  I have heard that when a person drinks beer not only do they see things differently they also hear differently, talk differently, walk differently and feel differently.  It seems that all of the person you knew before the consumption of beer has disappeared and you are now dealing with your friend in a "Beer Suit" ... Oh, they may look the same, but, make no mistake about it, the Beer Suit is in complete control.  I have also observed that the "Beer Suit" actually stays completely undisturbed and fully in control even while some or all of the beer drinkers clothes are removed...amazing.  

So, my friends be very careful when you consume beer... the "Beer Suit" is waiting... and once you put the "Beer Suit" on it will have it's way... It thinks it can dance, but, it can't... It thinks it's saying the right thing...but, it's not... and on and on and on... Beware of the "Beer Suit"   

IT WORK'S

I'm just checking to see if anyone is still checking my BLOG. I have been extremely busy with the shop and other creative ventures. So have neglected or actually forgotten I had this Blog sight until my dear ol dad said he loved reading my blog. He is in Indiana so its kinda his way of checking in on his son... then my sister who lives in Michigan and Phoenix said the same thing... and when I saw my mom, who lives in Missouri, she showed me pictures that a friend had downloaded and printed up for her... cause she dont understand the internet or them there computers... I was kinda impressed with how the interenet and social networking tools are really helping family and friends stay connected. Wow, it only took 20+ years but, we have finally seen the computer do what it was designed to do...be personal.