Chaos, Crazies, and Charasmania ... part 4

We have talked about Chaos, and we have talked about Crazies, but, we have not talked about Charasmania ... What in the world is Charasmania ? ... Charasmania is to Christianity what "Wrestle-mania is to Sports. Charasmania is the ability to script the meeting so you get the outcome you desire in order to keep the Holy Spirit on the move and people coming back. Charasmania is knowing the outcome of something before you know the content... deciding what will happen in the end regardless of what truly is happening but, making it look real. It is Christian Entertainment for prosperity and profit. In short we are always looking for the Hulk, or the Andre the Giant, or the Rock, or the Steve Austin or the Triple H or the John Cena to win, or lose, when they "show up" we look good and make more money ...SO, doing whatever it takes, to get the desired outcome, to make those watching happy, so they support what we want to do... and doing it in a way that looks real. Or, if that is to close to home or true to think about, then ... if Chaos is culture and Crazies are people then Charasmania is the Camelot they thrive and multiply in. Camelot is a fictional euphoric city of peace and brotherhood and when it stumbled into chaos, they had to search for the Holy Grail to save them... Charasmania is the never ending search for the Holy Grail.

For instance... As a church staff you meet on Tuesday mornings to go over the results of Sunday morning. Tuesday is the best day because it takes the preacher a whole day to get over, or bounce back, from all he poured out on Sunday... (there is a reason for this and you will see why in a bit) ... They talk about very important things like, how the video went, were we on time, how worship sounded mainly "was it to loud", did the announcements go to long, was the message well received, was there a sense of community, how big was the offering, how was ministry time, did we ever go wrong anywhere? etc... just to name a few... sometimes they pray ... cool staffs do this over lunch in a pub ... Then they plan the next weeks service... They make small adjustments here and there and then decide a general direction... like "People are loving the series on the "Love of God" from the book of John, Lets turn the worship down a bit and do songs about how much we love God...oh yeah, and don't forget the kids..., Lets trust God for our finances, shorten up the announcements, be friendly and lets keep hoping that Holy Spirit will show up and do something ... they leave this meeting normally feeling inspired and excited about Sunday and the possibilities it holds... But, here is how the week unfolds after that meeting... Wednesday morning crazy #1 calls and tells you a dream they had about 5 geese and a large pond that dried up and left the geese stuck in the mud ... The worship leader sees a goose on the way to work and thinks she should write a song about a goose ... a board member has goose for dinner. Thursday morning comes... the email you receive from the intercessors tells you that they prayed for Sunday morning as usual and crazy #1 told them about the 5 geese in the mud, while he was talking crazy #2 fell over and crazy #3 had a vision while crazy#4 painted a picture of a goose on the churches art-wall crazy #5, an educated crazy, explains how the goose is the symbol of the Holy Spirit in Celtic Christianity, crazy #2 falls over again and begins to shake and honk ... #5 then explains that the presence of God as portrayed by the water and is drying up because of the lack of true Spiritual leadership, (no proof) and that the number five means grace... There fore the intercessors "Strongly Believe" that because of the lack of true spiritual leadership in the body that the presence of God is drying up and we are in a time of grace to repent before God. The Holy Spirit is stuck in the mud and will remain stuck and cant move until we as a body repent. ... Now the Mud is obviously "sin in the camp"... Their humble and tear-filled advise is that we have a public time of repentance for the leadership and a drama with ashes followed by a dance or dirge and no worship... just a time to wail... the worship person writes a children's song about a goose... You go home with a migraine. Friday you pray and seek God for direction, you ask your circle of friends, your inner circle, and your inner inner circle... You try to read John but feel lost trying to figure out who is sinning and how do geese fit into a "seamless" service that is supposed to be aimed at people who want to know God more... Your worship leader calls to ask if it would be okay to teach the kids a new song before they go off to kids church... you say "Yes" because its just a kids song... but don't ask to hear it. (You remember what it used to be like when you just partied all the time)... Saturday arrives and you go to soccer with your kids, go grocery shopping, spend time with the family, call the elders, spend some time with "the lost", answer calls about the youth-group activity, and spend a bit of time preparing for Sunday. Sunday finally arrives and you go to pre-service prayer... can you imagine what is about to happen... are you feeling a bit tense... are you laughing yet... nervously? In short ... Sunday starts... The opening prayer by a board member is preceded by a story about a great goose dinner, followed by worship that is to loud and a kids song about "Gordie the Goose who loves to Honk for Jesus" honk, honk, honk ... every time "goose" is mentioned another crazy falls over and honks, intercessors wail and visitors pee their pants a little bit... the announcements are going great until someone raises their hand to make a personal announcement "my pet dog "Goose" died, he was like a Father to me, ... followed by ministry at the front led by a very pastoral elder who "felt it was right" Then its your turn to preach... you have 5 minutes left of your 35 minute slot... your migraine is back... you stand and try to make sense of the whole thing by saying something clever... or funny... or meaningful ... your brain flips like an old Rolodex looking for an address... you say... "Open your Bibles to the book of John"... the honking continues, people are still praying at the side of the stage, the intercessors quietly moaning in prayer, the visitors "or pee pants as we should call them now" check their watches and look to you for some kind of answer hoping you can make sense out of all this chaos ... You think to yourself "Why the F-you-see-k do I put myself through this every week, I should not say the "F" word before I preach, sorry Lord ... you blow through your message trying to remember and feel Gods love. You invite people to come forward if they would have questions or would like to experience Gods love ... the ministry team comes forward to help ... Suddenly #5 is on the mic... how did he do that? ...He leads ministry time and works in the dream interpretation (which takes 40 minutes) #1 stands humbly beside the stage... crazies number 6 through 27 begin honking, crying, wailing and it begins to build and grow ... board member repents of eating a goose ... the symbol of the spirit "I ate the Holy Spirit" he proclaims... wailing erupts ... blah blah blah ... You feel like your contribution means nothing that you could have just stayed home with your wife ... You see it does not matter what you try to do... this event is scripted with a pre-determined outcome no matter what ... The problem is no one knows who is writing it ... Yeah, who is writing this script The only thing you can do to bring any kind of structure is become the most controlling, driven, heartless a-hole to ever run a church... But, then guess who the mud is... guess who is stopping the Holy Spirit now... yep, you guessed it... it is YOU and your controlling spirit! You are making baby Jesus Cry... God is totally quitting because of your actions and behaviour ... and Holy Spirit can do nothing while you are around. OMG Now, do this 52 weeks a year for ten ... that's 10 years ... 10 YEARS ... TEN %$#@&* YEARS!!! Its worth it though... because at the end of it just look at all the fruit... look at all you have... you have...??? Nothing. No Camelot, No Holy Grail, No "MORE". No wonder after I left I started drinking heavily, smoking and taking anti-depression medication all at the same time... No wonder the knights of the round table died. King Arthur was a nut-job to send them out on the search for the holy grail in the first place.

Like our culture we "the church" are never satisfied with what we have, even though, what we have is the best we can get. We have already seen the best ... (Jesus) ... But, we think, Jesus plus something else is better...Oh, and I know the verse that says "and we shall do even greater things than these" I know it and I believe it... But, honestly does what I just described sound like "greater things" than the works of Jesus?... really? ... come on? ... really? But, we still think ... If we could just have Jesus plus the Holy Grail then we could have Camelot back... Which would be great if Camelot existed... What could possibly be better than Gods answer to mans question ? ... Mans hypothetical question of "how do I get to God" was answered, by God, in the sending of His son Jesus. Yet, we still try to make the answer more meaningful or more tangible, or More by adding things to it ... Unfortunately, if you believe in a higher power, the answer has already been answered by the Higher power. How do I get to God ? (man asks) Jesus. (God answers) ... and That is the answer. There is no other answer. There is no more to the answer ... Jesus will always be the right answer, and, the complete answer. Mans second hypothetical question is if Jesus' life pleased God then how can I live or be or look or act like Jesus? The answer to this question was answered by Jesus when he promised to send His Spirit or Holy Spirit to all who would believe... Holy Spirit was given to each believer to show us, teach us, remind us, empower us and inspire us. Two honest questions with two honest answers. All major world religions look for a connector between God and man... That connector is Jesus. The way we know we are connected is Holy Spirit.

Charasmania always makes the right answer not enough. Charasmania always makes you feel like you are lacking, lesser than, smaller, blah-de-blah, etc. etc. ... Charasmania demands more ... and it will always demand more. because, it does not accept the answers as enough. The answers to mans biggest questions are answered ... If the answers are not good enough, you are doomed to keep searching for "More" and there is no more. It's like looking for a better heaven or a worse hell ... You will never find better than heaven and you will never find worse than hell. I have never heard a single person say, no matter what they believe ... "I deserve better that Heaven... there must be more" nor have I heard anyone say "That person deserves more than Hell". If I had a dollar for every time I have heard a believer say there must be more than this I would be a BOZILLIONARE! ... I thought the Non-believers where supposed to say "there must be more" and then believers are to respond "Yes, there is more and I have it." ... For Christ sake ... (and I mean for Christ sake... as in for the sake of Jesus Christ and all he represents) is it just me or is something backwards here?

Once again I found it very difficult to navigate through Big City of Charasmania I found it impossible to get a reading on Camelot and, if you have not noticed, there is no Holy Grail ... and ultimately this is what caused my physical, emotional and spiritual burn-out. The never ending Chaos, The constant howling of the Crazies and the demand for More and More, and More from those living in Charasmania... Not to mention the impossible task of finding anyone who would claim to have experience, or wisdom or insight into these kinds of things... I could find no real help... only suggestions or opinions or thoughts or theories ... I found sympathy and empathy ... I heard a many stories just like mine ... but got no real Biblical Wisdom, Experienced Direction or Leadership ... What I needed was someone with a backbone who would speak Biblical truth like I got back in Conservativille. I needed to feel something solid under my feet, a firm foundation, an anchor that holds ... a shield and a rock ... a light... but, I did not feel any of these things... The longer I tried to bring structure and leadership the more I felt lost, alone, and searching in the dark... and there were other knights, strong, good hearted, valiant knights of the round table who joined me in this quest ... but, I bet, if they are honest, they felt lost, alone and in the dark as well ... and many of them, like me have been beaten and bruised by this adventure. There where also some very wise and experienced men and women who joined me and gave there insight and we will discuss them soon ... It is because of these people that I have not given up all hope, and have not thrown in the towel and quit... I AM STILL A BELIEVER... a wiser, more experienced, believer.

Before I post this blog I want to be sure and help those of you who hear victim language in what I am writing to find peace ... I am using victim language on purpose... Because, I am a victim. Some of you reading this are victims right now, and some of you have been victims in the past and have found health and wholeness... and I am very happy for you. I am a victim ... But, at the same time I chose this path. I chose to move to the city... I choose to do the things I did. I will not blame anyone for my choice to chase after something illusive. I am a manifestation of the choices I make in life... I am not living as a victim, I am not living in the past, I am telling stories about my past to gain wisdom... wisdom gained from experience ... So I can help those who choose to run after something illusive to live a better life while in the chase and to catch what they a really chasing ... without burnout ... or breakdown. I am present-future minded and my future is very bright ... I am pressing on toward the goal ... I am still in the race.

My next Blog will be my opinion on "How" ... "How to transition and keep your Friends" ... "How to be Baptized in the Spirit without drowning your friends"... and so on ... Cya