How #1 is simple... When you feel or see something about to change "focus on, and only on, what you love". You see there are many things I really love about "Conservativille", and there are many things I really love about "Charasmatropolis".
For instance here is a list... the WHAT I LOVE about "Conservativille" list... I love the security, I love the safety, I love the roots, I love the way they took interest in your development, I love the way they trained you, I love the way they search the Bible for real answers, I love the foundation, I love the way you feel so right, I love the way they see "not-yet-believers", I love the way they enlighten the mind, I love the way they study every week to make sure what they preach is really right, I love they way they quietly handle money, I love the way they want you to be successful so you can have a bigger voice, I love the way they see preaching and teaching as a real live gift from God. I love the way they research ways to prove what they believe, I love the way they are concerned about context and content, I love the emphasis they put on loving God with your heart, soul, MIND and strength, I love the way peoples lives are changed and they become better people because their minds have been renewed by the Word of God ... I love the way they let God's Word be the final word... "It says it, I believe it, that settles it" I love the way they get people actively involved in practical ministries that make a difference, I love the way they see Sunday morning as a place to engage with people seeking to meet, or get to know God ... and they are aware that their actions effect others, I love the respect shown when someone is praying, or reading, or teaching, or singing... I love the way that some displays of intimacy for God are for personal private space and not publicly displayed ... I love the way the leaders really watch what is going on like a Shepperd... I love the way they are not afraid of structure and believe that God is bigger than structure and can work around it or in it... I Love, Love, Love the way they adore Jesus... the Jesus focus... I love their stories of how powerful preaching changed everything... These are a few things I love about "Conservativille" and I had to make myself stop... there are many more things I could write.
Now here is the What I LOVE about "Charasmatropolis" list ... I love the way they put the emphasis on "Love the Lord your God with your HEART, SOUL, mind and STRENGTH"... I love the way they Worship... the way they sing to God... I love the way they show their love by raising their hands, clapping, speaking out in support, dancing, etc. I love their energy, I love the way they rejoice, I love the way they laugh, I love the way they believe that God can do ANYTHING he wants when ever He wants, I love the way they see the "EVERYTHING" in the Great Commission... I love the way they see God as a Father who is to be loved and enjoyed, I love they way they what to really know God not just "know about" him. I love the way they want to see the Power of God today... I love the way they believe that ALL the gifts of the Spirit are still available to be used today to help spread the gospel. I love their anticipation and hope they feel when they pray... The way they believe that it will happen because God can make it happen. I love the way they believe in miracles and signs and wonders that help "not-yet-believers" believe. I love their stories of how the power of God through believers changed everything... I love the way they focus on the person of "Holy Spirit" and how we can partner with him today... the Holy Spirit focus. I love the way they see Holy Spirit as the manifest presence of God on the earth TODAY... the third person of the Trinity is still working on earth today and we can partner with Him. I love the way they enjoy God when he does something on the earth ... the way they believe first and doubt later. I love the freedom they seek... I love the possibilities they believe in. I love the GOOD in their good news. Oh, and the stories, ... I love their stories ... the stories of the adventures of Godly men and women, filled with the Spirit, On Fire, Uneducated, Ordinary men and women that others see and say "those people have been with Jesus"... TODAY... I love the way they put a lot of emphasis on TODAY. It is the same yesterday, TODAY, and forever... choose TODAY who you will serve... Holy Spirit is active TODAY... These are a few things I LOVE about "Charasmatropolis" ... and again I had to stop. I could go on and on.
As far as I am concerned I can love these things without being in any conflict what so ever. I am able to see God in both of these places and enjoy Him. I am not deceived or mislead by either side. As long as I focus on what I love I am fine... It is when I begin to live by comparison, or begin to only focus on what I do not love that I find myself in a position of wanting to leave one place for another. It is when I feel I must defend where I am living ... then I must find the justification to reject and attack what I love. The truth is I do not want to attack, reject or defend ... I want to be able to embrace what I love... I want to be able to love what I love with my whole heart... without reservation.
Now, before you start thinking I am starting to back off of the things I said in the last few blogs... be assured I am not. I believe Chaos, Crazies, and Charasmania are the things that derail the Faith, Facts and Feelings train ... However, I am not willing to throw away the experience, or the wisdom gained through out my life as a preacher in order to return to an old home, remodel an existing home or build a new home ... I want to reinvent the way I relate to these places so I can BE who I really am, where ever I am, and fully Love where I am. I, like many of you, have things, wisdom, insight, ideas, resources, gifts, etc. that are needed and we need to use... I can choose to live like the "desert fathers" in a hole in the wilderness, alone and gifted... but I don't want to ... That sucks... If my only choice is to live alone with my own personal beliefs, in a hole, in the wilderness, and wait to see if anybody seeks me out ... that just plain ol' sucks... I don't want to do that ... nor do I want to have to go around kissing every bodies butt, turning my nose from tan to brown, acting like I'm sorry for what I have done in order to gain a spot to be heard ... I am not sorry for what I have done. I have regret that I have acted certain ways, said certain things, behaved poorly, offended ... but, If I had not chased the illusive I would not have made any of the discoveries, nor had the adventures. nor be able to tell the stories that I can today... I could not be more truthful or have deeper insight ... I would not have the wisdom that only experience can give you ... and for this I will never be sorry... As a matter of fact I am grateful ... I can only rejoice and be very happy that I have had a "Great Adventure with God" and am alive to tell it. I LOVE my life, I LOVE doing things with and for God, I LOVE Jesus... He is my Hero, Saviour,etc.etc. I LOVE Holy Spirit... his power, his inspiration, his insight, his instruction ... and, ... I love it that, because of my life, my failures and successes, I know things that you do not, ...and, ... If I know, have wisdom, or have experienced truth, that you have not, then I just might ... could it be possible ? ... that I have truth that you do not believe yet ... I am convinced that you know things that I do not and that you have experienced truth that I have not ... Imagine what could happen if we focus on, and only on, what we love about that.
If someone would have given me permission to fully love "Conservativille" while exploring the big city of "Charasmatropolis" I may have been able to keep a lot of the things I really love most in Conservativille ... the people ... the humans ... If I had continued to show my love to these people while I was exploring and changing I may have been able to keep many of them ... and at the end of it all, ... what I really miss are the people, ... the humans ... What really makes me sad about moving from "Conservativille to Charasmatropolis" was leaving the people I loved ... I miss the humans. If someone had told me when I moved from "Charasmatropolis" that the thing I would miss the most would be humans ... ( I would have sworn at them, flipped them the bird and told them to kiss me somewhere lower than my back and higher than my legs, oh come on! I was burned out, tired, angry and broke, you just can't say that kinda stuff,) ... yes, it's still a bit fresh ... however, I would have to say they were right. Now that I am in a different place, yet to be defined and governed by simple principles, I can say there are many humans I dearly love and really miss in the Big City.
(I just had a thought... I wonder if Jesus misses hanging out with the humans... I wonder if he was sad he had to go back to heaven because he would miss Peter the human and John the human ... I wonder if Jesus gets excited and happy when He thinks of getting to come back and live with His fellow humans ... We know how much God loves humans ... Jesus loved Humans too, to do what he did, and of course He is one ... I would guess Holy Spirit loves humans seeing how He lives in humans ... just a thought)
I wonder what would have happened if I would have just kept letting people know how much I love them as I went from town to city ... I'm sure it would have been different... I wonder what would have happened if I would have just let people know how sad I was to have to move instead of acting so excited or called or strong... What if I had just sat down and cried with them and said how sad I was to have to move and told them how much I would miss them... what If I had said "Don't worry, I will be back! I will tell you all the stories, and, we will laugh at my failures, rejoice at my success's, and cry because we are so happy to see each other ... and it will be like you were with me the whole time ...
How #1 "Focus on, and Only on, What you Love.
3 comments:
Jesse
I absolutley love this entry...very profound...keep it up...and by the way....I miss you as well
-Ryan Steck-
Jess,
Mike and I have been gradually reading through your blogs...all very very insightful...and a blessing indeed. Thank you for being so transparent.
What you say resonates deeply. We have been involved in a variety of churches in Charlotte since moving to the area....talk about "Church City"...you could call Charlotte that. All the body of Christ...all filled with 'humans', tainted by sin, forgiven in Jesus, given grace beyond measure.
Grace....that's what I hear in everything you write. My greatest struggle has always been 'legalism'. Moving here has moved me to a greater level in understanding God's grace. Thought I knew so much...not so! God had to pull all my 'security' away and become my all.
So full of freedom....we all have to come to a point where we return, and always remember from now on, our first love, Jesus.
Blessings to you. It is refreshing to hear your story.
Kathy Smith
My experience in "Conservativille" was a bit different from yours I think, after all, I was a Missouri Synod Lutheran! But I resonate with most of what you say about all the "loves". I especially resonate with how healing it is when we just focus on all the things we loved and still love about that place, that space, those dear people. Most of our relatives still live there, and in the last few years, have been generous in listening to the stories we have to tell of what happened to us when we "went out and joined more of the church." They even welcome us back, and ask us to speak in their churches. And our "scary adventure" has encouraged some of them to take more risks and think more kindly of the rest of the Body of Christ.
I like the space you're in, and I love the journey you're on!
Love and Blessings to You!
Don
Post a Comment