1964 Ford Galaxy 500
I took a summer job running the wood chipper at "The Lutesville Pallet Shop" in Lutesville, Missouri two months after I turned 15 and purchased a 1964 Galaxy 500 two door post for 400.00 bucks... It was dirty and covered in bird poop but, I loved it and it was mine. It took some elbow grease and a lot of cleaning but before long it sparkled like new and ran like a sewing machine... turquoise with a white top ... it was during the next year that I learned the importance of having tools.
"Tools"... "I Love Tools" ... Tools make me happy ... now, I know for those of you who are un-schooled in tools ... you are wondering, why I would say "I Love Tools" or say "Tools make me Happy"... Well, ... let me enlighten you... Quite simply put ... with the right tools you can accomplish anything ... when you purchase, or invest, in better tools... your work gets better ... and the "Right" tools for the Right job makes the entire job easier.... and that is the Gods honest truth. I believe that the greatest gift given to man ... (after woman) ... was good tools ... that's why I polish them, and clean them, and keep them in a special box... ( sorry, I got all excited) But wait, before you think I am only referring to wrenches and hammers, or screw-drivers and metal dollies I am not ... When speaking of tools I am also, because of my entertainment, artist and musical background, thinking of thinks like sculpting tools, brushes, puppets, guitars and banjos... these are simply tools in the hands of craftsmen... or craftswomen, or crafts persons ...
I know you are thinking "Jesse, Jesse, Jesse ... enough about your little love affair with tools ... And I would agree that yes, I do have an unusual affection for things that help me ..."Git-R-Done"... And yes I am about to turn this tool metaphor into "How #2"... So, lets just get down to it ... The thought that I have been having is that ... wait for it ... I have never thought of how the car feels about the tool. Bare with me here ... imagine ... you are the car, the object of "the fix" ... you are dirty, rusty, broken, and in need of repair... "The fixer" with the right tool in hand (grinder, cutting torch, buffer, sand paper, hammer etc...) comes at you with a big smile on his face ... having heard the small voice in his head ... "make me beautiful again ... or If you would look closer you would see, or ... what ever you said ... and then the sparks start flying ... Imagine the thoughts you would have as the paint begins to smoke, the smell as the precious coating that used to shine and sparkle begins to bubble and peel and fly into the air before it lays lifeless on the floor of the garage mixed in with all the other dirt... that will be swept up and thrown out ... "The Fixer" looks so happy... because he has a vision ... you just feel stripped to the bare metal ... all your rust exposed ... your dents gleaming ... You would probably question "The Fixer" but you would hate "The Tool" ... You see tools are designed to loosen things that are tight and stuck, cut things that so corroded they can not be fixed or removed ... Tools are designed to blast things into pieces so they can be renewed, or made better than new ... Some of these tools are intimidating, they have large wooden handles and are heavy ... some tools are even dangerous ... If used improperly they can cause more damage than good ... "The Fixer" knows the tools and knows how and when to use which tools for the greatest effect to insure his vision is achieved.
The metaphor of tools is not new to teachers as a way to convey the thought or suggestion that some of us need to be repaired or fixed. "The Fixer" or person who will use the tools to do the work of fixing is not a new metaphor either. However, "How #2" is all about the tools. It has been my experience that the tools used by "The Fixer" is almost always people. "How #2 ... People are TOOLS"! ... And, if that's not bad enough ... the tools that blast you apart for repair are the same tools that put you back together. "People are TOOLS".
Therefore, If people are the tools, then who is "The Fixer"... ??? ... Well, "The Fixer" better be smarter than the tool ... that's for sure ... "The Fixer" better be experienced and should understand which tools are best for which job ... And, the "TOOLS" better understand that they are "Tools" and not "The Fixer".
When I talk about "Coservativille" or "Charasmatropolis" I am not thinking of a geographical location, or a group of people ... I am not thinking of a specific person or thing that has caused a chain of events that has brought me to this place. I am thinking about How "The Fixer" is using "Tools" to shape, restore, renew or redesign me. When I think of people as "Tools" it gives me the ability to see how they were used by "The Fixer" for the good that he intends to see in my life ... Because, I am the one in need of "The Fix" ... A Tool can not fix itself ... Other Tools are needed and used by "The Fixer" to provide "The Fix" for the Tool in need. Only "The Fixer' knows what needs to be fixed. Only "The Fixer" is qualified to use "The Tools" on the" Tool" in need of "The Fix"... I was, am, and always will be in need of "The Fix" The "Tools" in Conservativille and in Charasmatropolis were just being tools and they were being used by "The Fixer" to provide "the Fix" for me, a fellow "Tool". "The Tools", who were used by "The Fixer", may have been aware or may have been unaware of the way "The Fixer" was using them ... What the Tool thinks or is aware of is not that important to "The Fixer". The Tool may have had thoughts of grandeur, importance or calling ... the Tool may have had thoughts of harm, jealousy or malice ... But, "The Fixer" is not concerned with the thoughts, motives, or intentions of the Tool ... "The Fixer" was only concerned about his vision and what he was creating me to be ... the Tools he choose to work with were the "Perfect Tools" for the job. "The Fixer" also chose many tools to work with ... "The Fixer" will never use only one tool ... even though it may be a special tool that can do specialized things ... "The Fixer" will never need only one tool. "The Fixer" has a very large tool box and it is full of many diverse tools and they all want to be used and "The Fixer" will use them all.
When I think of people as the objects "The Fixer" would use to fix me, I get drawn into "good behaviour vs. bad behaviour" a trap that forces me to choose who did right to me and who did wrong to me ... and this causes me to get stuck in the past ... always trying to fix or forgive or undo or re-do or do something, anything just to help or get help ... I want to find a reason, a cause, a failing or a fault that can be resolved ... My feelings get involved... I use words like hurt, betrayal, lies, sin, blah-de-blah etc. etc. I wonder things like WHY? or WHO ... I begin to try to be more than a tool, I try to find the good tools and the bad tools ... I get worried that "The Fixer" will never use me again... I try to be the best tool in the tool box... I try to shine myself, I try to fix other tools and, if I am not careful, I will begin to let myself be attracted by anything that looks like work ... I will call anything that makes me feel used or needed "The Fixer"... I will get caught up in activity that has nothing to do with "The Fixer" so I, "the most shiny tool", will not be bored or feel alone ... If I stay on this track I will soon start to think that "The Fixer" really, Really, REALLY NEEDS ME ... I Think I am the greatest Tool... (This is when all the other tools think you are just a "Big Tool") ... This is when you are in need of "The Fix"... When we forget that we are all just tools, like all the other tools in the box, ... this, ... is when we need "The Fix" the most.
When I embrace the thought that I, and all of you, are a bunch of "TOOLS"... I am free to become "A Tool" that could possibly be used one day or maybe today. I get to ... get out of the box, I get to be what I was made to be, I can be happy to be used by "The Fixer" ... and ... "I can be a very Happy TOOL" ... I love to be used by "The Fixer" I get all excited when the drawer slides open and I see "The Fixer" looking into my drawer ... or in my direction ... I always hope "The Fixer" will choose me ... every time ... and, to be honest, I am happiest when "The Fixer" chooses me ... but, I am also happy when "The Fixer" chooses someone else in my drawer ... at least I know he is still working and still needs us. I love the stories that other Tools have to tell of how "The Fixer" used them and how they were the perfect tool for the job. Telling stories is my favorite thing to do when we are all in the tool box waiting to be used. You see "the Fixer" loves, and wants to use his Tools... They cost him a lot, He has invested heavily in them, He knows they work, He knows they are the right tools for the right job, He takes great care of them, When he needs them he knows right where they are, He keeps them clean, He puts His trust in them, He depends on them ...
How #2 ... We ARE NOT "The Fixer" ... We are ALL "TOOLS"
3 comments:
I love the "FIXER" !!
and Jesse - you are such a "tool". I love that about you.
Keep it up. This is great.
I also know the Fixer by the name of Master Craftsman. One day I asked him if he had a favorite tool. He smiled for a moment, and then looked thoughtful, almost sad.
"This may not be easy for you to understand" he said. "I love all my tools equally. Each are unique and each have a special purpose, but there are some tools I enjoy working with more than others."
It was one of those moments when I was pretty sure I understood what the Master Craftsman meant. It was more of a feeling than a knowing, but it made sense in a contented sort of way.
I nodded my head and said, "I think I know what you mean. But why do you look so sad?"
The Master Craftsman looked at me with a smile that was full of love and sorrow at the same time. "Well my little one" he said, "I have also given my tools the choice of whether they want to be used or not. And sometimes they are reluctant to work with me."
With a far away look in his eyes he continued. "One of my favorite tools to use is the welding torch.I love that its either totally hot, or totally cold. With it I'm able to cut away areas of damage and rust. Then I can weld in new pieces of metal to make the car I'm working as good as new. But what I love about the welding torch is that I can also use it to graft in new pieces, or extend old ones so that the car I'm working on becomes totally unique."
"But I'm sad because one of my favorite torches had some bad experiences, and is reluctant to let me use it again. There were some serious flare-ups when I was using it on an area of major rust and dirt. There was some damage to the torches nozzle but the car could not have been made whole unless the diseased areas were removed."
"Is the torch okay now?" I asked.
"Yes" the Master Craftsman replied, "I've made sure everything has been made as good as new. It's only the bad memories that remain."
"So what are you going to do?" I asked. "There's all these cars that need to be restored and you're missing your favorite tool!".
"Well" the Master Craftsman replied, "If you ever come across it, you could reassure it that I never abuse my tools. Sometimes I need them to do difficult and challenging jobs. Sometimes my tools may feel like they may fail under the strain, but I know their limits. If they are truly surrendered to me, I will never let them break, and the cars will be restored to reflect my workmanship."
Then the Master Craftsman looked at me with the most intense eyes I've ever seen and asked, "Do you trust me?".
Love this post.
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